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Weekly Doses of Pop-up Psych

We all make cringey mistakes and deserve to move on, rather than feel confused or regretful after an icky social situation. Each week, I will dissect a murky social, life cycle, or pop culture topic to help you understand, learn, and move on. As a former academic, I am a super-picky consumer of research (and you should be too) as well as the content I create and share, so those new solutions, data and/or additional resources have certainly met my approval.

What does trying to clear your name say about you?

We turn on a talk show and yet again, another solemn-looking celebrity is interviewed to tell their side of a story. Whether it’s a broken-up relationship, family feud, or scandal, the celebrity felt determined to address “their truth” through a staged interview or lengthy social media post. Despite the fact that the people who really know and love them are likely to know their truth, why do they really feel the need for public justification?

 

It's a truly awful feeling to have your name dragged through the mud, especially for something you didn’t do. As we get older, it’s easier to roll our eyes, but we’re not robots who don’t experience emotions. It doesn’t need to be a verbal pickleball game.

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At the end of the day, nobody cares about your side of the story

   

It’s not just celebrities, but they have the biggest platforms that get the most reach.   We see non-famous people on social media trying to clear their name to discuss their side of the story through one-sided statements. What do those statements really mean?

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Your side could indicate you might be guilty.

 

Nothing smells of suspicion more than one sided statements or going on talk shows where the interviewer doesn’t ask challenging questions. Whether they are posted words or a teary video, the dramatic victim act reeks of a desperate attempt to cover up.

 

Your side seems like you’re seeking revenge.

 

I am the biggest believer that personal success and living your best life is the best form of revenge ever.  Looking amazing, achieving inner-peace, and achieving goals send a stronger message than igniting a s**t show.

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Your side invites judgment into the situation

 

The post might have gotten a lot of views and likes, but people are most likely rolling their eyes.  Despite if you were the one who was “wronged”, people don’t really care.

 

Actions Speak Louder Than Words: What To Do Instead

  

No matter how tough and immune to criticism you seem, it’s still humbling. Rather than make it worse, here are other alternatives.

 

Publicly, do nothing.

  

Does it really matter that they have the last public word? Not really. Just because they start, doesn’t mean you have to finish.

 

Privately lean into your people for support.

  

Those who abandoned you because of the perceived rumor actually did you a favor. It’s the universe’s way of eliminating people from your life who don’t deserve to belong there. People who really know and love you will either ask your truth or not really care what you did or didn’t do.

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Tell your story from a place of empowerment.

 

Everybody has a right to tell their story.  As someone who helps people get their story out, the emphasis is that it comes from an empowered and solution-oriented place, rather than the need to clear your name and cloud theirs. There is certainly a way to tell your story without embarrassing others.

 

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Hi, Beautiful Readers and thank you for reading this! I'm Dr. Joanne Broder, Media Psychologist, Author, and Fellow of the American Psychological Association. Please consider me to help you write your memoir, blogs, speeches, e-books, as well as coach you on your dissertation or thesis.  Click here so we can connect!

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