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Weekly Doses of Pop-up Psych

We all make cringey mistakes and deserve to move on, rather than feel confused or regretful after an icky social situation. Each week, I will dissect a murky social, life cycle, or pop culture topic to help you understand, learn, and move on. As a former academic, I am a super-picky consumer of research (and you should be too) as well as the content I create and share, so those new solutions, data and/or additional resources have certainly met my approval.

Never Say Never and Why You Shouldn’t Shame Yourself for Changing Your Mind

Years ago, I was scrolling through Facebook and I saw that one of my friends did a Polar Bear Plunge, which is a winter swim in the frigid water as a fundraiser, such as for the Special Olympics. Ugh, I could never do that. She might as well have been driving on the NJ Turnpike blindfolded because I just couldn’t understand how or why someone would volunteer (or pay money) for what seemed like self-inflicted torture. 

 

Fast forward a few years and I’m at a yoga retreat at Amansala in Tulum, Mexico and a few of my friends signed up for the ice bath class, where they learned how to breathe through the sensation of the extreme cold. I watched and cheered them on with awe as they submerged themselves into the icy water. 

 

Then, the yoga studio where I regularly practice started holding special Fire and Ice classes where it was a 30 minute yoga class, followed by an ice bath. I ignored a few classes, until one day I felt attracted to the idea of signing up for one. I read about the benefits and thought it might be a good solution for the achy joints in my feet and hips. 

 

Last spring, I finally signed up for a Fire and Ice class on a planless Saturday, until a last minute race was added to my son’s crew schedule. I had to cancel the class. I thought I would feel relieved, but I felt more disappointed than I realized, which was my inner voice’s way to telling me I was ready to try it.

 

I finally had my opportunity to take the class in the fall. After the class, I felt amazing; my feet felt too good to be mine. It felt awesome and tolerable enough to start doing modified ice baths at home. When I watched my friends in Mexico, I said I could never do it.


Merriam-Webster classifies Never Say Never as an idiom which states that a person should not say that he or she will never do something because people change their minds. We have to be open to change.

Stop shaming yourself for doing what you said you would never do

 

Why do we give into our never?  Time moves forward and so does everything else. Rather than shaming ourselves for doing what we nevered, embrace the growth and be open to new experiences. 

 

People Evolve

 

Our world gets bigger as we grow.  We learn new information, visit new places, meet new people, and graduate from one phase to the next. Give yourself grace as you change and evolve.

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Circumstances Change

 

Regardless if the change is within our control, life moves forward. We can’t always control what life throws at us, so we have to adapt to the new situation. Instead of getting stuck, crossing over to the point of never might be what we need to do. Once upon a time, this pic was my never.

 

Newfound Needs and Values

 

As we evolve and our circumstances change, our needs and values do as well. Be humble enough to recognize when the wind changes direction, so we don’t self-sabotage for the sake of our egos.

What is something you enjoy now that you swore you would never…

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Hi, Beautiful Readers! Thank you for reading this! I'm Dr. Joanne Broder, Media Psychologist, Author, and Fellow of the American Psychological Association. Please consider me to help you write your memoir, blogs, speeches, e-books, as well as coach you on your dissertation or thesis.  Click here so we can connect!

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