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Weekly Doses of Pop-up Psych

We all make cringey mistakes and deserve to move on, rather than feel confused or regretful after an icky social situation. Each week, I will dissect a murky social, life cycle, or pop culture topic to help you understand, learn, and move on. As a former academic, I am a super-picky consumer of research (and you should be too) as well as the content I create and share, so those new solutions, data and/or additional resources have certainly met my approval.

Empower Yourself: Be Your Own Damn Valentine with a Boost of Self-Love

Regardless of my relationship status, Valentine’s Day has always been my favorite holiday. I love the sentiments, energy, everything heart-shaped, as well as the abundance of pink, red, and chocolate. When I was little, I wore my favorite outfit to the class party and loved sending Valentines. Overall, my Valentine’s Days have run the gamut from falling asleep on my computer to five-star romance.

I am among the mere 28% that think that Valentine’s Day is a real holiday. Since the majority surveyed doesn’t really buy into the typical Valentine’s Day hoopla, let's put another spin on it-how can we honor ourselves?  We can’t love other people unless we love ourselves.


Modified from one of my favorite quotes from a dear friend and gifted healer Wanda Feliciano (I highly recommend one of her yoga retreats), “be your own damn guru”, here are ways to be your own damn valentine and show yourself some love; even if you already have a Valentine. 


How Can You Be Your Own Damn Valentine?


Since Valentine’s Day is about love, then love yourself the way you need to be loved. Of course we would all like to douse ourselves in nice gifts and spa trips, but when Valentine’s Day is on a Wednesday in an unusually hectic week, the little stuff can go a long way.

Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. - Louise Hay


Be your own damn Valentine by taking a risk


Risks are a part of growth.  If we can’t take a deep breath and make that scary step forward, then we might stay stuck. You owe it to yourself to move in your desired direction. 


Be your own damn Valentine by signing up for something


Remember that event/activity/experience you keep talking about doing? Give yourself the gift of taking a few minutes out of your world, putting that to-do item into action, and crossing it off your list. Have fun!

Be your own damn Valentine by celebrating something about yourself


Nobody is perfect.  Everybody has their own dents and dings, so we might as well just celebrate them. Give yourself a compliment and say it out loud!


What about you?


  • How can you be your own damn Valentine?

  • How can you be more gentle with yourself?

  • What can you celebrate about yourself?


Hi, Beautiful Readers! Thank you for reading this! I'm Dr. Joanne Broder, Media Psychologist, Author, and Fellow of the American Psychological Association. Please consider me to help you write your memoir, blogs, speeches, e-books, as well as coach you on your dissertation or thesis.  Click here so we can connect!

Be your own damn Valentine by forgiving yourself


Rather than beat up yourself over the past, forgive yourself for mistakes, regrets, and bad decisions. Yes, it requires a great deal of patience and inner work, but it’s not impossible.  Here is an excellent source to learn more about the practice of forgiveness.


Be your own damn Valentine by giving yourself grace


“Be gentle with yourself” was one of those expressions I heard for years, but never really understood until I was in my 50’s, which I interpret as, “don’t beat yourself up for the little stuff”. For instance, last weekend when I could not get up and get moving for one of my favorite yoga classes, I recognized that I probably needed the extra rest, rather than shame myself for sleeping through it like I typically did in the past.

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