Fellow of the American Psychological Association, Media Psychologist, and Author
Memoir Writing, Blogging, and Ghostwriting​
Weekly Doses of Pop-up Psych
We all make cringey mistakes and deserve to move on, rather than feel confused or regretful after an icky social situation. Each week, I will dissect a murky social, life cycle, or pop culture topic to help you understand, learn, and move on. As a former academic, I am a super-picky consumer of research (and you should be too) as well as the content I create and share, so those new solutions, data and/or additional resources have certainly met my approval.
Be Nice. We’re All Just Doing Our Best.
This week, on my town’s Facebook page, an Anonymous Member complained that their daughter’s high school math teacher would not be attending Back-to-School Night (BSN). There was a fierce debate included in the slew of comments from defending the teacher to shaming the Anonymous Member for their complaint. I understood both perspectives: the teacher had a conflict; whereas the Anonymous Member was disappointed they could not meet their freshman daughter’s math teacher. Although there were several valid points, was anybody right or wrong?
Not at all; Anonymous Member and the teacher were each trying their best. The teacher might have been doing their best by choosing their own children’s BTN or other important personal event instead of attending a weeknight work function. Anonymous Parent did what they thought was best to support their daughter’s education.
Hindsight is always 20/20. It’s easy to look in the rearview mirror and say we shoulda, woulda, or coulda done this or that, which sometimes makes us cringe.
Our best will be different each day
Stress and depression was found to be triggered by perfectionism. One day we might feel like dragons slaying the tasks on their to-do lists, while our best might be showing up on another day. Admittedly, it can be easy to beat ourselves up when we aren’t killing it. It’s easy to judge other people who seem to slack off, but are simply doing their best as well, which might look drastically different from yours.
You’re doing your best based on what you know.
You don’t know what you don’t know. The information you currently have access could be limited or false. To learn more, search for smart content that is factual, from credible sources, and understanding the perspective of the source.
You’re doing your best based on who you are.
You are not them and they are not you. Who we are will dictate how much we can handle, which varies at different points of our lives.
You’re doing your best in spite of circumstances.
We are humans balancing and juggling a lot of activities, distractions, as well as emotions. Life gives us curve balls that throw us off our game, which certainly impacts the degree to which we can do our best.
You’re doing your best based on the available support and resources.
Our levels of resources and support can certainly enhance or hinder our ability to do our best. They tend to vary throughout our lives and certainly per person.
You’re doing your best based on your energy levels.
We all have the same 24 hours per calendar day, but our varied responsibilities, careers and other lifestyle choices dictate how we spend that time. However, our energy levels differ, depending on our health, how we take care of ourselves, age, and other individual variables.
What about you?
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When can you give yourself grace when you are doing your best?
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How can you give someone else grace who is doing their best as well?
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Hi, Beautiful Readers! Thank you for reading this! I'm Dr. Joanne Broder, Media Psychologist, Author, and Fellow of the American Psychological Association. Please consider me to help you write your memoir, blogs, speeches, e-books, as well as coach you on your dissertation or thesis. Click here so we can connect!